“I felt so much that I started to feel nothing”

Being subjected to not just physical but also what comes with it emotional abuse can feel very lonely. The feeling of being isolated can be caused by the partner’s intention to do so so as they can be in full control but also by the victims worry, shame or fear to share their experience with anyone else. When the person is being psychologically mistreated they may not even realise that they are being pushed away from their family and friends.

Feeling lonely, abandoned, misunderstood is a common feeling. Feeling empty and feeling that the surrounding world is overwhelming and there is no one that would truly understand what you are going through is what I wanted to focus on in this experiment.

After my feedback I was disappointed with myself that I let certain factors to affect my performance. Also I knew that I haven’t done my best but recognising it is not enough so I cracked on with work.

I am glad that my tutors know me know as an individual and the advice that I have received I believe paid off. As I am not a confident drawer I have always been more into model making, 3D, acting than drawing itself.

I will be tackling individual emotions associated with emotional abuse and try to represent it in more abstract way which I have always been a bit afraid to do.

This is the actual blob I have worked with. I know it doesn’t look promising and the best part is how I am going to use it. This is modelling clay.

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I have placed it on white background and applied light from a lamp so as the bumpy parts throw a shadow. This is the outcome:

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Image with the flash

I have left the images not edited as I like that it looks a bit yellowish which reminds me of the dessert and gets the message across of emptiness, isolation and also overwhelming spaces. I was trying to take pictures from different angles so as the light shines differently and also testing out different camera settings.

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