Continuing with the experimentations for my project I stick with photography and props making. Not because I got stuck and had no other ideas but because I enjoyed it a lot and it also allowed me to let my imagination grow. My favourite part was that I could be on my feet and active, finding new ideas as the shoot went along.
Focusing on more emotions surrounded by domestic abuse.
Emotional abuse can weaken you, it can make you feel small in this big world. The security it takes away from you makes you feel overwhelmed, anxious, and not good enough comparing to other people.
I have made a paper boat and originally I have coloured it but the boat capsized pretty quick and got damaged. The styrofoam bottom I made to stop it from sinking and getting wet for some reason didn’t quite work. Also attaching the string to it made no sense. The modelling clay figure can useful later on and for this it only made the boat capsize faster. Basically all the preparation was a waste of time so instead I just made a simple plain paper boat.
Letting the boat free on the canal see where the wind will take it. It was funny when my paper boat was being attacked by the ducks and me screaming my lungs out trying to save it..
I quite like the shadow of the big boat reflected on the water.
Trying to capture the image of a big boat made of steel (or whatever material that is) and colourful compare to the tiny, plain and weak paper boat.
Cropping the image so as its not too obvious but you can still see that is a big boat.
Because it was windy on that day the little boat was very disobedient. At numerous occasions it went under the pontoon that I was on. I have then laid down trying to look under it but I couldn’t go too far as my head would have to go under the water so I put my camera underneath and took shots. I was wondering ho will end up in the water in the end: me or the camera.
This picture can also show how people who are emotionally abused hide their feelings from others and live in the darkness which is not a nice place to be in.
I loved the randomness of this photoshoot as I was working with an item that wasn’t still. At some point I laughed to myself that I wish I had some fisherman big boots and go in the canal to have better close up pics.
Having this amazing fireplace in front of me I just couldn’t help but take advantage of it.
At the beginning I was just admiring the power of fire and its beauty. Then I realised the power is how it makes you feel: it is stronger than you, more powerful, and can cause fear. There is a reason why “fire” is being used it a lot of expressions: “play with the fire”, “love is a fire”, “I have a fire inside me” and many more. Fire is a natural beauty and every shot was great.
Stepping into the fire would feel like one of the hardest things you can imagine as it would cause a lot of pain and possible death or life changing injuries. Isn’t that what being in an abusive relationship feels like?
So far in my experiments I have been trying g to avoid using pictures of people or anything indicating it’s a human being so as I don’t make it too obvious and challenge myself to express emotions using objects only. This time I remembered I had this little guy and my imagination kicked off.
Almost towards the end the figure fallen into the fireplace. Because of the heat I couldn’t really put my face in there to see where it went so I used my phone camera to see and that is what I have captured.
Referring back to the emotions I sat down and thought of how it feels like to be in a relationship when you are not happy, when you go through all the emotions that I have experimented with before. What came to my mind was the suffocation, not being able to express your feelings, giving up, feeling like there is no way out. It feels like drowning, feeling of losing yourself and dying deep inside.
I have made a fake sea in a jar with decorative moss, modelling clay some green plastic sheets I had to make it float in the water and I added some green and black paint to colour the water. Then I tried to play with the light.
That is the only time when I have edited the picture but I really wanted to have a face featured in it.
Please follow my next blogs to see how all those images will be used in my final outcomes.